Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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