There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You ruined the universe
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
