Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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