she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
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He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
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I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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