He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
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A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
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Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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