I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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