We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
