Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
