I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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