Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
