i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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