exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
