i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
