those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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