My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
