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Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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