you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it glows. i had to have it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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