This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
