Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
