Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
two words: eviction party
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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