So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
