Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
