I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Of course I have a pirate flag
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
