just come out here and I will go home with you...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
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I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
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Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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