If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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