This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
