You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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