Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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