dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
