My friends, they love my intelligence
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
