I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
