Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
