I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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