my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
