Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
