brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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