google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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