Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
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I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
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I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.