I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?