Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.

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  (860): i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug. http://tfl.nu/sjuy
  Replies (25) Good night (3330) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone

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  (902): you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken' (1-902): well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone http://tfl.nu/o9f8
  Replies (8) Good night (2403) Bad night (506)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.

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  (262): I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends. http://tfl.nu/1qj3
  Replies (39) Good night (1551) Bad night (3931) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?

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  (330): this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants? http://tfl.nu/rwj9
  Replies (12) Good night (5943) Bad night (850) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.

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  (818): im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically. http://tfl.nu/np2a
  Replies (23) Good night (1772) Bad night (6380) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.

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  (+44): You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack. http://tfl.nu/2spc
  Replies (12) Good night (4043) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails

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  (313): well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails http://tfl.nu/6yhu
  Replies (9) Good night (968) Bad night (3250) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  No that means he must've used the nipple clamps

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  (479): No that means he must've used the nipple clamps http://tfl.nu/kmo2
  Replies (4) Good night (1931) Bad night (1041) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.

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  (608): He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles. http://tfl.nu/pu4v
  Replies (20) Good night (3528) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed

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  (210): BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed http://tfl.nu/opf8
  Replies (6) Good night (1449) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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  (720): Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated. http://tfl.nu/fo7q
  Replies (4) Good night (1386) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".

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  (224): I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!". http://tfl.nu/pw3u
  Replies (8) Good night (3111) Bad night (610)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?

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  (941): When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights? http://tfl.nu/va6d
  Replies (7) Good night (539) Bad night (745)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.

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  (267): I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads. http://tfl.nu/108g
  Replies (4) Good night (906) Bad night (251) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family

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  (917): Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family http://tfl.nu/7bwr
  Replies (1) Good night (139) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt

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