Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude