I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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