I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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