I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The air was thick with penises
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
