wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
barbara walters just said penis...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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