I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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