If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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