I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
