Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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