So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We have started to decorate penises.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Of course I have a pirate flag
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
