so explain again why im purple
no
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
