It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
