Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
