I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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