I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
and she was petting her beer can
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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