the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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