i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
