yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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