Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Someone signed my nipple.
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