This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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