The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
