My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
