I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
