Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
