Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
