She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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