Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
