i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
